Darkness – Jackie Lane

Dawn was breaking, a misty light filtered into the room through candy striped curtains, which gave a mystical air to the nursery.

Morning was a welcome sign bringing an end to my nightmares of loneliness, fear of demons lurking in all the nooks and crannies of my confined space.

Sunlight cast shadows on the fresh, white walls whilst I imagined angels standing guard around my pastel painted iron bedstead hand in hand to protect me from those fears. Some people would think angels around the bed predicted death but to me they were my guardians.

I felt cooler today; my head ached a little less as I fumbled under the bedclothes for teddy who was my best friend throughout the long lonely night. I thought I had dreamt Mommie was standing looking down at me but fever, weakness from my illness clouded my thoughts. Was she really there?

                I heard the sound of a baby crying, a young child playing and a soothing voice reassuring them. Where was Mommie? Was that her voice? The door suddenly opened startling me until I heard a strong voice say

“How is my little girl today?”

“Hello Daddie,” I whispered feeling greatly relieved to see a familiar face.

“ I feel a little better today, when can I play in the garden?”

“Soon, little one, when you are better, shall I draw you a rabbit?”

“Yes please,” I replied. “I love your rabbit pictures.”

The next few days seemed a blur as my temperature rose and fell like waves crashing over the sea wall at high tide. The doctor was called and whispered voices discussed my symptoms. I’m here, you know. Please tell me what is wrong. I thought because no one seemed to realise I was four years old, not a baby anymore.

 “It’s definitely Scarlet Fever.” The doctor spoke quietly to the two other people around my bed. I think they were Mommie and Daddie but their faces were very blurred.

“Plenty of rest, no visitors as it’s highly contagious. And seal the door,” the doctor continued in a serious voice.   

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I remember was It was dark so dark. I clutched Teddy to my chest, afraid to peer over the bedclothes because the demons might be lurking. Luckily there was a full moon that night which gave me great comfort. It shone into the nursery like a little night light especially sent to soothe me.

I didn’t sleep again that night. I thought “Should I call Mommie to sit with me? But maybe she was asleep and wouldn’t hear me.” I wondered where the angels had gone perhaps another little child was ill and needed them more than me. I tried to think of my favourite places or the toys I loved the most, especially my new pushchair. I really wanted to push teddy around the nursery and show him the garden. When could I play in the garden again?

Morning did arrive eventually, with the sun a welcome sight, bringing warmth and light into my little prison room. I wanted to look out of the window but my body was so weak I could barely sit up. I heard the tape on the door crackle as the handle moved and there was Daddie, my hero, come to rescue me from my confinement.

“Hello princess. You look a bit brighter today,” he said in a cheery voice, “gave us a bit of scare yesterday.”

“I was scared too,” I whispered, gazing adoringly up at his concerned face.

“Perhaps today will be better,” he said quietly.

“When can I play in the garden?” was all I could manage to say in reply.

A little later Mommie brought me porridge with golden syrup to encourage me to eat. I managed a little but although it tasted good I felt too weak to take more than a few mouthfuls.

The days dragged on, with night after night of scary thoughts of demons and bogey men ready to jump out to frighten me. I gradually recovered, getting stronger every day and strong enough to fulfil my dream of pushing Teddy around the nursery in my new red pushchair, taking him to the window and showing him the garden. The small white framed window was my escape from the four walls which seemed to close in more every day. I could see the big world beyond furnished with flowers, trees, clouds, and birds. Even my cats, Tibby and Tabby, were stalking around the lawn. “Oh, when can I play in the garden?”

Finally the doctor gave the ‘all clear’. The door could be un-taped and I could be released from my enclosed world, free to go out into the fresh air to smell the newly mowed grass, mingled with scent of the pink blossom on the trees and stroke the cats.

Now I can play in the garden!